


Vanguard of Our Destruction

by Niki



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Community: cliche_bingo, Drunkenness, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-18
Updated: 2011-05-18
Packaged: 2017-10-19 13:07:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niki/pseuds/Niki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Virmire, Kaidan loses hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vanguard of Our Destruction

**Author's Note:**

> Cliché: We're all going to die!  
> The prawn thing comes from the men in my life, I'm in the squid camp myself.

Kaidan looked up from the machine he had been tinkering with. His mind was not on the job, anyway. He kept playing the giant prawn's message over and over in his head. What it was saying couldn't be real. Giant, sentient ship, shaped like a prawn, was telling them about a race of machines that was going to kill them all? For 'all', read, 'all sentient life in the galaxy'.

Starting with Ashley, and dozens of Salarians.

He tried mourning for her but it felt so futile, knowing they would all be dead soon enough. He, his parents, everyone on the ship, everyone on Citadel, on Noveria, on all the planets and cities he had visited. Shepard.

Before Virmire, he had been sure that they had a chance, that if anyone could stop Saren and discover what he was planning, it would be Commander Shepard. He hadn't put much strength in the whole talk about visions and Reapers, confused why an experienced soldier like Captain Anderson did.

Guess they knew something he didn't.

He abandoned his busywork, and drifted towards the mess. He knew where Joker's stash of alcohol was, and right now he felt like getting drunk, regs or no regs. You don't learn you're going to die every day, after all.

He had just poured himself a glass when he heard a voice from behind him.

“Come on, if you're courting court martial, at least do it somewhere a little more private,” Shepard said, nodding for him to follow.

“And bring the bottle,” she reminded, before disappearing towards her quarters.

Okay. That was new, Kaidan though, finished the drink and followed his commanding officer.

She locked the door behind him, and led him towards the table. While he sat down, she dug up two glasses and poured them both drinks.

“To Ash,” she said quietly, raising his glass.

“To Ash,” he repeated, and downed his in one, decorum be damned.

“Soldiers die, Kaidan,” she reminded him softly, and he met her eyes for the first time.

“So we do,” he replied, reaching for the bottle to pour himself another glass. “And now we're all going to die. Cheers.”

“You believed the Sovereign, then,” she checked, also filling her glass.

“Well, it is a flying prawn, but it sure sounded convincing to me.”

“Prawn?” She was obviously amused. “I thought it looked like a squid.”

There was enough alcohol in his blood now to relax him slightly, and he laughed out loud at that.

“We should be able to take down a squid, Lieutenant,” Shepard said, smiling.

“When you say it like that...” he let his voice die down.

He paused to consider his actions.

“I'm sorry for my... lack of... damn.” He'd spilled his drink. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let it get to me like that.”

“It's okay. We're all shaken up by what's happened. Besides, it's just me.”

'Just me'. His commanding officer. But here she was, breaking regs alongside with him. Maybe he'd avoid that court martial after all.

They drank quietly for the next hour, both lost in their own thoughts. Kaidan dreaded the moment he'd have to get up, because he was pretty sure he was quite drunk.

“Come on, Kaidan,” she finally said, emptying her last glass. “We can take a prawn, sentient or not.”

He got up on unsteady legs.

“Aye, aye, ma'am,” he slurred and grinned.

When she smiled like that, he was invincible. The prawns better worry, because Normandy was going to kick their ass.

He didn't realise he had spoken aloud until he heard her response. “That's the spirit, Lieutenant. Now you better remove yourself into your sleeping pod before I break another regulation for you.”

It said something about his level of intoxication that he didn't realise the implication in her words until much later.


End file.
